The incident log is on paper, and the paper came from a GET

Next to the coffee machine, a thermal receipt printer prints a strip every time production pages. Nobody has to look at a phone. The strip says what broke and when, in 42 columns.

A Raspberry Pi behind the printer polls the container's notification store: GET /api/v1/notifications/all?since=<last timestamp>&limit=20, every ten seconds, keeping the newest timestamp as its cursor. It prints anything with urgency critical and ignores the rest. The notifications come from the same crons and scripts that already POST to /notify when a health check fails; the printer just reads them at a different threshold than the phones do.

There is no printer integration. There is a store that speaks HTTP and a device that asks it what's new.